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How to Know If Your Marriage Is Over: Signs & Quiz

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Learn more about Marriage Counseling.


In this blog, you'll learn

  • The common signs your marriage is over
  • How to determine if your relationship is in a rut or truly ending
  • What to do if you’re at a crossroads in your marriage
  • Take the Is My Marriage is Over Quiz for how to know when your marriage is over


Marriage is one of the most significant relationships in your life, but even the strongest partnerships face challenges. If you're here, you might be wondering, “Is my marriage over, or are we just in a rough patch?” It’s a question that weighs heavily on the heart and mind, and the truth is, there’s no single answer for everyone. At Mountains Therapy NJ, we’ve helped countless couples navigate these difficult moments. Whether you're seeking clarity, healing, or closure, working with the best marriage counselor can help you move forward with confidence, no matter the outcome.


8 Signs Your Marriage Might Be Over

If you’re feeling stuck, disconnected, or questioning everything, here are some major indicators that your relationship might be at its breaking point:

  • 1. You Feel More Like Roommates Than Partners
  • Do you still share laughs, deep conversations, and affection? Or does your relationship feel more like coexisting rather than truly being connected? Emotional distance can be a major red flag.
  • 2. There’s Constant Criticism or Contempt
  • Disagreements are normal, but when communication turns toxic, with frequent blame, resentment, or insults—it can be difficult to rebuild respect and trust.
  • 3. You're Avoiding Each Other
  • Are you staying at work later? Spending more time out with friends? Sleeping in separate rooms? If you’re intentionally creating distance, it might be a sign that you no longer feel safe or valued in the relationship.
  • 4. You No Longer Fight, You Just Feel Indifferent
  • While frequent arguments can be exhausting, total indifference can be even more concerning. If neither of you seems to care enough to address issues, it may mean you’ve emotionally checked out.
  • 5. You Fantasize About Life Without Your Partner
  • It’s one thing to wonder about possibilities, but if you frequently think about being single—or feel relief when imagining your spouse out of your life, it might be time to evaluate your true feelings.
  • 6. You’ve Stopped Making Future Plans Together
  • If discussions about vacations, holidays, or even long-term life goals no longer include your spouse, you may already be envisioning life apart.
  • 7. Trust Has Been Broken Beyond Repair
  • Cheating, infidelity, lying, or repeated betrayals can be incredibly difficult to move past. If rebuilding trust feels impossible, it might be time to consider whether staying together is truly serving you both.
  • 8. You’ve Tried Everything, but Nothing Changes
  • Maybe you’ve tried couples therapy, read every relationship book, and had countless discussions—but you’re still feeling stuck in the same painful cycle.


Is Your Marriage Over or Just in a Rut?

Not every difficult season means a relationship is doomed. Every relationship has highs and lows. Stress, kids, work, and life changes can make even the strongest couples feel disconnected. But a rut is something you can work through, while the end of a marriage feels more permanent. Long-term love takes work, and the best therapist Montclair NJ offers can help you figure out whether there’s hope for repair, or if letting go is the healthiest choice. If you’re unsure, taking a my marriage is over quiz or talking to a counselor can provide clarity.

Signs Your Marriage is Just in a Rough Patch:

  • You still respect each other, even if you’re frustrated
  • You’re open to therapy or working on the relationship
  • You have good moments that remind you why you fell in love
  • You both want to make it work, but don’t know how

Signs Your Marriage May Be Over:

  • One or both of you have emotionally checked out
  • There’s ongoing contempt, disrespect, or cruelty
  • You feel like you’re living separate livesYou’ve tried everything, and nothing changes

If you’re still unsure, you might find a "My marriage is over quiz" helpful, but be cautious—no quiz can truly determine the fate of your relationship. Only you can decide that.


Is My Marriage Over Quiz

  • 1. Who do you consider your best friend?
  • A. Your partner
  • B. Your coworker
  • C. Your ex
  • D. Someone else
  • 2. How do you feel about your communication with your spouse?
  • A. It's very effective
  • B. It could be better
  • C. We struggle to communicate
  • D. We barely talk
  • 3. Do you feel respected in your relationship?
  • A. Yes, always
  • B. Most of the time
  • C. Sometimes
  • D. Not at all
  • 4. How often do you express appreciation for each other?
  • A. Daily
  • B. Weekly
  • C. Monthly
  • D. Almost never
  • 5. Do you still make future plans together?
  • A. Yes, regularly
  • B. Occasionally
  • C. Rarely
  • D. Not anymore
  • 6. How do you handle disagreements?
  • A. We talk it out calmly
  • B. One of us usually walks away
  • C. It often turns into a heated argument
  • D. We avoid discussing it altogether
  • 7. Do you have more good memories or bad times with each other?
  • A. Good memories
  • B. Bad times
  • C. Equally both
  • D. None
  • 8. Do you both respect each other?
  • A. No
  • B. Yes
  • C. Not sure
  • D. Most of the time
  • 9. Who do you take marriage advice from?
  • A. Friends
  • B. Parents
  • C. No one
  • D. An ex
  • 10. What is the general mood when you and your partner are together?
  • A. Happy
  • B. Cold
  • C. Negative
  • D. Tense
  • 11. How many times do you fight in a month?
  • A. At least 10 times
  • B. At least 5 times
  • C. At least 8 times
  • D. You almost never fight
  • 12. Do you feel that you have been emotionally mislead by your spouse?
  • A. Yes
  • B. No
  • C. It's possible
  • D. If that's the case you've probably done the same thing too.
  • 13. Do you spend enough time with together?
  • A. Yes
  • B. No
  • C. Just enough time together
  • D. Maybe, you don't really know
  • 14. Do you enjoy your intimacy with your partner?
  • A. Yes, a lot
  • B. Just a little bit
  • C. It depends on what you decide to do on that day
  • D. Not really, it's so boring
  • 15. What are your fights about most of the time?
  • A. Money
  • B. The kids
  • C. Work
  • D. You don't really fight like that
  • 16. Do you have your roles already set from the beginning?
  • A. Yes
  • B. No
  • C. You don't really know
  • D. The marriage is so chaotic that you couldn't even answer this question
  • 17. Do you have hopes concerning your marriage?
  • A. Yes, that it could last forever
  • B. Yes, that your in-laws could mind their business once and for all
  • C. Not really
  • D. It is too soon to say
  • 18. Do you feel accomplished thanks to your marriage?
  • A. Yes
  • B. No
  • C. Sometimes
  • D. You don't really think about becoming an accomplished person anyway
  • 19. Do you trust each other with your lives?
  • A. Yes
  • B. Not really
  • C. Sometimes
  • D. No
  • 20. Do you trust each other with your money?
  • A. Yes
  • B. Absolutely
  • C. You used to but not anymore
  • D. No


What to Do When Your Marriage Is Over

If you’ve come to the painful realization that your marriage is over, the next steps can feel overwhelming. You might be wondering:

  • What now?
  • How do I tell my partner?
  • What about the kids?
  • How do I move on emotionally and financially?

It’s okay to not have all the answers right away. This is a deeply personal journey, and you deserve support. A therapist can help you process your emotions, gain clarity, and make the best decisions for yourself. If you're still wondering "How to know of my marriage is over?", reach out to a marriage counselor near me today.


How Therapy Can Help Your Marriage, Even If You Think It’s Over

Many people think therapy is only for saving a marriage, but it’s just as valuable when you’re trying to figure out if it’s time to walk away. At Mountains Therapy NJ, we offer a safe, judgment-free space to help you navigate this confusing time. Whether you want to try couples counseling or need individual therapy, we’re here for you. We’ve been voted best therapy in the area because we meet you where you are, without pressure or expectations. Sometimes, a few sessions with the best therapist Montclair NJ has to offer can bring the clarity you’ve been searching for. You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re struggling with the question, why do I feel like my marriage is over? or how do I know if my marriage is over?, reach out today. Let’s talk. Schedule a session with a trusted therapist or counselor at Mountains Therapy NJ. Because whether you stay or go, you deserve peace.


Contact us to connect with a marriage counselor near me and marriage therapist near me.

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