Thoughtful Holiday Gifts to Increase Intimacy: A Guide from Couples Therapy

Read to get thoughtful gift ideas for your partner to increase intimacy during the holidays.

Learn more about Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling.

In This Blog, You Will Learn:

Unique holiday gift ideas to strengthen your relationship
How thoughtful acts can deepen emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy
The therapeutic principles behind these gift ideas

The holidays are a perfect time to reconnect with your partner, share meaningful moments, and strengthen your bond. As couples therapists, at Mountains Therapy in NJ, we often emphasize how thoughtful, intentional gestures can deepen intimacy and create lasting memories. This guide offers unique gift ideas inspired by techniques used in couples therapy to help you foster connection, understanding, and love during the holiday season.

Gift Ideas to Deepen Intimacy

1. Love Letter Journal

What it is: A journal where you and your partner take turns writing letters to each other, sharing appreciation, memories, and hopes for the future.
Goal: Builds emotional intimacy and opens communication channels.
How it helps intimacy: Writing regularly encourages vulnerability, helping you express feelings you may not share verbally. It reinforces the emotional foundation of your relationship.
Type of therapy: Inspired by Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT), which helps couples express their emotions and build secure attachments.

2. Customized Date Night Box

What it is: A DIY or pre-made box filled with date night ideas, such as a "build-your-own pizza night," a cozy movie marathon, or a DIY painting session.
Goal: Fosters quality time and shared experiences.
How it helps intimacy: Shared activities encourage collaboration and playfulness, reminding you of why you fell in love.
Type of therapy: Reflects the Gottman Method's focus on building Love Maps, which involve understanding your partner’s inner world through shared experiences.

3. Couples’ Massage Class

What it is: A workshop or online class teaching massage techniques for relaxation and connection.
Goal: Encourages physical touch and shared relaxation.
How it helps intimacy: Touch is a powerful love language. It increases oxytocin levels and strengthens physical and emotional bonds.
Type of therapy: Ties into somatic techniques often used in couples counseling to reconnect partners on a physical and emotional level.

4. Intimacy Games or Kits

What it is: A set of cards, books, or games that offer guided questions, activities, or prompts to explore and enhance physical and sexual intimacy.
Goal: Helps you explore desires and boundaries in a safe, fun, and engaging way.
How it helps intimacy: Encourages open communication about sexual needs, fantasies, and preferences, which can help break down barriers and foster a deeper connection in the bedroom.
Type of therapy: Draws from principles of Sex Therapy integrated into couples therapy, emphasizing communication and mutual understanding of sexual needs.

5. Memory Scrapbook

What it is: A scrapbook filled with pictures, mementos, and notes from your relationship milestones. Add things like concert tickets, vacation souvenirs, and heartfelt notes.
Goal: Reflects on shared history and reinforces your partnership.
How it helps intimacy: Reviewing your journey together helps you remember the highs, navigate the lows, and celebrate how far you’ve come.
Type of therapy: Draws from Narrative Therapy, which focuses on redefining the shared story of your relationship positively.

6. Luxury Bedroom Experience

What it is: Create a luxurious and romantic environment with high-quality linens, candles, essential oils, and perhaps a couple’s massage oil set.
Goal: Enhances physical and sexual intimacy by setting the mood for closeness.
How it helps intimacy: By prioritizing time for physical connection in a comforting environment, this gift helps you nurture both emotional and sexual bonds.
Type of therapy: Aligned with the holistic approaches of sex-positive couples counseling that encourage prioritizing sexual intimacy as part of a healthy relationship.

7. Subscription to a Relationship App

What it is: Relationship apps like Lasting or Paired offer tools, exercises, and daily prompts to help couples improve communication and connection.
Goal: Encourages daily relationship maintenance and personal growth.
How it helps intimacy: Daily exercises encourage open dialogue and allow you to work on relationship skills, even during busy times.
Type of therapy: Based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which provides practical tools to improve communication and problem-solving.

How These Gifts Promote Intimacy

The key to choosing a meaningful gift isn’t its monetary value but the thought and intention behind it. A therapist for couples therapy or a counselor for couples therapy might suggest focusing on gifts that:

Encourage quality time
Foster vulnerability and open communication
Create shared memories
Reinforce physical and sexual touch
Offer opportunities for personal and relationship growth

By blending emotional, physical, and sexual elements, these gifts support a holistic approach to intimacy. For instance, exploring intimacy games or creating a luxury bedroom experience can deepen sexual closeness, which is often an area that couples may feel hesitant to address. As couples counselors, we emphasize the importance of both emotional and physical connection as vital components of a thriving relationship.

Therapeutic Goals Behind Thoughtful Gift-Giving

These gifts align with the principles of couples therapy by promoting the following:

Emotional Intimacy: Gifts like the Love Letter Journal and Memory Scrapbook encourage emotional expression and connection.
Physical Intimacy: Experiences like the massage class enhance comfort and connection through touch.
Sexual Intimacy: Games or a luxury bedroom experience open avenues for communication and exploration in your sexual relationship.
Shared Experiences: Activities like cooking classes or customized date nights build teamwork and positive memories.
Communication Skills: Tools like relationship apps encourage regular, meaningful dialogue.
Celebrating Your Journey: Reflecting on your shared history and milestones builds gratitude and a sense of partnership.

Closing Thoughts

The holidays are an opportunity to give more than just a gift; they’re a chance to invest in your relationship and create lasting memories. If you’re seeking deeper insights into your relationship or want to explore how intentional gestures can strengthen your bond, consider working with one of our couples therapists or scheduling a session with a counselor for couples therapy. At Mountains Therapy NJ, our couples counseling services are designed to help you and your partner rediscover connection and intimacy. Reach out today to learn more about how we can support your journey toward a stronger, more fulfilling relationship